Wondering how to know if you're over your ex? It's not always obvious. Sometimes we think we've moved on, only to realize we haven't. Other times, we're more healed than we give ourselves credit for. These 15 questions will help you honestly assess where you stand.
The Social Media Test
1. Do you still check their social media?
If you're regularly looking at their posts, stories, or who they're following, you're still invested. Being truly over someone means their online presence doesn't pull at you.
2. How do you feel when you see them post something new?
Does your stomach drop? Do you analyze every photo for clues? Or can you scroll past without a second thought? Your gut reaction reveals the truth.
3. Have you unfollowed—and not looked back?
Unfollowing is step one. Not finding workarounds to check on them is the real test.
"You're not over someone if they're still the first thing you think about when something happens—good or bad."
The Emotional Check-In
4. Can you think about them without pain?
Not numbness—genuine peace. You can remember your time together without your chest tightening or tears threatening.
5. Do you still feel anger or resentment?
Intense anger is just love in disguise. When you're truly over someone, you feel neutral—maybe even grateful for what you learned.
6. Do you fantasize about them coming back?
If you're still hoping for that dramatic reunion, you're still emotionally tied. Being over them means you wouldn't want them back—even if they asked.
7. Can you genuinely wish them happiness?
Not as a performance, but truly. If the thought of them being happy with someone else doesn't sting, you've crossed a significant threshold.
The Comparison Game
8. Do you compare everyone you meet to them?
If every potential partner is measured against your ex, they're still your standard—which means they're still central in your mind.
9. Are you dating to move on or because you're ready?
There's a difference between dating to prove you're over them and dating because you're genuinely open to someone new.
10. Can you imagine a future without them?
Not just survive it—actually look forward to it. Your future feels like your own, not an emptier version of what you'd planned together.
The Trigger Test
11. How do you react to "your" song or places?
Triggers are normal early on. But if you still can't hear certain songs or visit certain places without emotional flooding, work remains.
12. What happens when someone mentions their name?
Does your heart race? Do you need to know what was said? Or can you hear their name like anyone else's?
13. If they texted right now, what would you feel?
Excitement and hope? That's attachment. Curiosity with no urgency? You're getting there. Indifference or mild annoyance? You're over them.
The Identity Check
14. Have you rebuilt your sense of self?
Do you know who you are outside of that relationship? Have you rediscovered old passions and found new ones?
15. Is your happiness dependent on their existence?
If good days require not thinking about them and bad days are caused by thinking about them, they still have power. When your mood is yours again—you're free.
Understanding Your Answers
Mostly "still attached" answers: That's okay. Healing isn't linear or fast. Use this as information, not judgment. Focus on the questions where you struggled most.
Mixed answers: You're in the messy middle—which is where most healing happens. Some parts of you have moved on; others are catching up.
Mostly "moved on" answers: You've done significant work. The occasional pang doesn't mean you're not over them—it means you're human.
The Real Answer
Am I over my ex? If you have to ask repeatedly, probably not entirely—and that's okay. Asking the question means you're ready to be. And readiness is the first step.