You know you need to end it. The ambiguity is exhausting, your needs aren't being met, and you deserve more than "almost." But how do you end a situationship when there's no official relationship to break up from? Here's your complete guide.
First: Validate Your Decision
Before we talk about how, let's acknowledge something important: ending a situationship can hurt just as much as ending a "real" relationship—sometimes more. The feelings were real. The pain is valid. You don't need the label to justify the grief.
Common doubts that might be holding you back:
- "It wasn't even official—do I need to say anything?"
- "Maybe if I wait, they'll commit..."
- "What if I'm making a mistake?"
- "They haven't done anything 'wrong' exactly..."
Here's the truth: wanting more than someone is willing to give is enough reason to leave. You don't need their permission or a concrete offense.
Signs It's Time to End It
- You want commitment; they want convenience
- The ambiguity causes more anxiety than the connection brings joy
- You've had "the talk" and nothing changed
- You're not being treated with consistency or respect
- You're holding yourself back from other opportunities
- You feel more confused than cared for
"If you have to convince someone to choose you, they've already made their choice."
How to Have the Conversation
Do You Even Need to Have One?
Generally, yes—if you've been seeing each other regularly (even casually). Ghosting creates the same pain you're trying to escape. A brief, clear conversation is kinder to both of you.
Keep It Simple
You don't need a long explanation or to convince them. State your position and be done. Examples:
- "I've realized I'm looking for something more defined, and this isn't working for me anymore."
- "I need to step back from this. I want different things than what we have."
- "This has been fun, but I'm looking for something more serious. I don't think we're on the same page."
Don't JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain)
You don't owe them a detailed case. If they ask why, you can say: "I just know this isn't right for me." That's enough.
Be Prepared for Their Response
They might:
- Agree easily - This confirms it was right to leave
- Suddenly want commitment - Be skeptical of last-minute conversions
- Get defensive or dismissive - This also confirms your decision
- Try to negotiate staying casual - Know your boundaries before the conversation
After the Conversation
Go No Contact
Unlike official relationships, situationships often try to downgrade to "friends" immediately. This rarely works. You need space to detach.
Unfollow and Mute
Watching their stories and posts will only prolong your healing. You can always reconnect later—if you even want to.
Resist the "Check-In" Text
That urge to reach out? It's not care—it's habit. Let the silence do its work.
Healing from a Situationship
The tricky part about situationship breakups is that people often minimize your pain because "it wasn't serious." But grief doesn't follow labels. Allow yourself to:
- Mourn what you hoped for, not just what was
- Feel angry about time and energy spent
- Question yourself—then remember you did nothing wrong
- Take time before jumping into dating again
The Silver Lining
Ending a situationship is an act of self-respect. You chose yourself when someone else wouldn't fully choose you. That takes courage. And it opens the door for someone who will meet you where you are—fully, clearly, without question marks.